i ought to lie down more, the doctor told me. if you are blind you can close your eyes he said. i ought to consider myself lucky, most people don’t have that option, he said. i did as the doctor told me and i closed my eyes, now, he said, what do you see? what am i supposed to see? he said it doesn’t matter, most people can’t see anything, i ought be thankful for that, he said. i told him what i could see. i see, he said, this is not unusual for someone in your position, lying there with your eyes shut.