When you raised your hand and pushed the button on the rail your eyes looked like you were lost and for a moment i wanted to stand up and help you. but i didn’t. i waited. but i hoped for you. i hoped and i gave you some part of me. but you were not lost. you were changing direction and you were feeling tentative. you were nervous. And when you left and i saw you walk to your destination i was relieved. i passed by the church and i thought of you but then i thought of him. aware that i was easing my conscience like him and that i was not thinking of you at all, once more i abandoned my belief in him and dismissed my hope in you for something real.